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John Pinette Conquers the Chinese Buffet: A Hilarious Food Adventure



So you’re looking to stuff your face with endless servings of General Tso’s chicken and egg rolls? Well, look no further than the iconic John Pinette Chinese buffet. If you enjoy the sight of mountains of fried rice and a never-ending stream of sweet and sour sauce, then this is the place for you. Just be sure to wear your stretchy pants and prepare for a culinary adventure like no other. Let’s dive in and explore the wonderfully gluttonous world of the John Pinette Chinese buffet.

Table of Contents

Enough Crab Legs to Last a Lifetime

If you’re a fan of all-you-can-eat buffets, then you’ve probably heard of John Pinette’s hilarious bit about the Chinese buffet. In his routine, he jokes about going into a buffet and being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food available. One line that stands out is when he exclaims, “I say I’ll have some crab legs. She goes, ‘!'”

Well, if you’re in the mood for some crab legs that will last you a lifetime, then you’re in luck! Many Chinese buffets offer unlimited crab legs as part of their buffet spread. With the right strategy and a healthy appetite, you can make sure you get your fill of these tasty crustaceans. Here’s how you can make the most of your next visit to a Chinese buffet and ensure you have enough crab legs to last you a lifetime:
– Scope out the buffet before you start filling your plate. Make note of where the crab legs are located and how often the buffet staff replenishes them.
– Pace yourself. You don’t want to fill up on other items and miss out on the crab legs when they finally come out.
– Don’t be shy about asking the buffet staff for a fresh batch of crab legs if they’re running low. After all, you’re here for a lifetime supply!

If you follow these tips, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying enough crab legs to last you a lifetime. Just remember to bring your appetite and maybe a few extra napkins! But remember, don’t get too greedy – we don’t want to put the buffet out of business!

Do Not Wear the Skinny Jeans: A Warning

Skinny jeans, oh the horror! You might as well put on a pair of sausage casings and call it a day. But here’s the thing – don’t wear those skinny jeans, especially if you’re planning on hitting up John Pinette’s Chinese Buffet. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Picture this: you’re about to indulge in all-you-can-eat deliciousness at John Pinette’s Chinese Buffet. You’ve got your eyes on the prize, ready to devour all the General Tso’s chicken and lo mein you can handle. But then, uh oh, your skinny jeans start to feel like a vise grip around your waist. Suddenly, that third helping of egg rolls doesn’t seem like such a great idea. So do yourself a favor and leave those skinny jeans at home. You’ll have much more room for all the glorious food at John Pinette’s Chinese Buffet. You’re welcome.

The Art of Maximizing Your Plate Space

So, you’re planning to hit up a Chinese buffet – known for their limitless offerings of sesame chicken, fried rice, and egg rolls galore. But, as you stand before the seemingly infinite spread of dishes, you can’t help but wonder: how on earth can I maximize my plate space to sample it all? Well, fear not my buffet-loving friend, because we’ve got the ultimate guide to mastering the art of filling your plate to the brim without sacrificing a single delectable bite.

First things first, forget about the big, bulky items that take up valuable plate real estate. We’re talking about you, giant crab legs and massive sushi rolls. Instead, opt for smaller, bite-sized options that pack a punch in flavor without monopolizing your plate. Think dumplings, spring rolls, and tiny morsels of General Tso’s chicken. Remember, it’s all about quantity over size when it comes to your buffet game plan. Additionally, consider piling on the essential side dishes like steamed vegetables and rice, which offer a much-needed break from the heavier main courses.

Now, onto the art of strategic stacking. When loading up your plate, be sure to stack strategically to maximize space. Place smaller items on top of larger ones, and don’t be afraid to get a little creative with your arrangement. After all, there’s no rule that says your plate must be a perfectly organized grid of dishes. Embrace the chaos and pile on those wontons next to your chow mein – it’s all part of the fun of the buffet experience. Just be sure to leave enough breathing room for some sweet and sour sauce drizzling – after all, presentation is key!

Savor Every Bite: The Wonders of General Tso’s Chicken

So, you’ve found yourself at a Chinese buffet, and you’re eyeing that glorious pan of General Tso’s Chicken. Let me tell you, my friend, you are in for a treat. This crispy, savory, slightly sweet, and oh-so-delicious dish is a true wonder of Chinese cuisine. It’s no wonder why the late, great comedian John Pinette famously declared his love for Chinese buffets, especially when General Tso’s Chicken was on the menu.

When you take that first bite of General Tso’s Chicken, be prepared to savor every single flavor. The tender chunks of chicken are lovingly coated in a sticky, finger-licking sauce that’s a perfect balance of salty, sweet, and a hint of spice. And let’s not forget about those little flecks of red chili peppers that add a kick of heat to each bite. Whether you’re a fan of Chinese cuisine or not, you simply can’t deny the deliciousness of General Tso’s Chicken.

The Unexpected Joy of Unlimited Fortune Cookies

So, you probably think that the best part of hitting up a Chinese buffet is indulging in all the delicious dishes like Kung Pao Chicken or General Tso’s, right? Well, let me tell you, you’ve been missing out on ! And if you’re a fan of John Pinette, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

For those who don’t know, the late comedian John Pinette famously joked about his love for Chinese buffets, particularly the never-ending fortune cookies. And let me tell you, there’s something strangely satisfying about cracking open those crispy cookies and seeing what the universe has in store for you. Plus, who doesn’t love a sweet treat after stuffing themselves with all-you-can-eat lo mein?

So, next time you find yourself at a Chinese buffet, don’t just focus on the food – indulge in . You never know, you might just get a fortune that’ll leave you in stitches, just like John Pinette.


Q: What’s the big deal with John Pinette and Chinese buffets?
A: Oh, just a comedian who had a bit of an obsession with them.

Q: Why did John Pinette love Chinese buffets so much?
A: Because he was a big guy who loved to eat, and Chinese buffets provided endless amounts of food for him to stuff his face with.

Q: Wasn’t John Pinette’s routine about Chinese buffets offensive?
A: Offensive? Please, it was all in good fun. He was just poking fun at himself and his love for food.

Q: What made John Pinette’s jokes about Chinese buffets so hilarious?
A: It was his ridiculous impersonations and the way he exaggerated the entire experience of eating at a buffet. Plus, his genuine love for the food came through in his humor.

Q: Did John Pinette’s jokes about Chinese buffets contribute to stereotypes?
A: Oh, definitely. Because everyone knows that all fat guys love Chinese buffets, right? Give me a break.

Q: Is it okay to still find John Pinette’s jokes about Chinese buffets funny?
A: Of course it is. As long as you can take a joke and not take everything so seriously. It’s all in good fun.

Final Thoughts

So there you have it, folks! The infamous John Pinette and his legendary Chinese buffet experience. Whether you’re craving some spring rolls or just want to witness a man take on an all-you-can-eat challenge and fail miserably, the legend lives on. Who knew a simple meal could be so entertaining? Now excuse me while I try to fit into my pants after a night at the buffet. Cheers!

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